Parenting methods from KabAstro | Parenting Profession

Raising children in East Asian culture is a crucial aspect of family life and society. It encompasses values, customs, and parenting methods based on the traditional principles and ancient knowledge of that culture.

Some important characteristics of parenting in East Asian culture, in general, and Vietnam, in particular, include:

  1. Family Respect: The family is seen as the center of life, and respecting and maintaining family relationships is a critical value. The responsibility of caring for and supporting the family is highly regarded.
  2. Discipline and Self-Control: Discipline and personal self-control are significant parts of parenting. Children are often encouraged to learn to manage their emotions and to respect social rules.
  3. Respect for Elders and Filial Piety: Respect for older people, filial piety, and consideration of parents’ and grandparents’ opinions are deemed important.
  4. Learning through Imitation: In East Asian culture, learning through imitation and following adults is common. Children are encouraged to learn from the adults in their family and society.
  5. Education and Cultural Heritage: Education is considered an essential part of individual and societal development and is highly valued. The pursuit of academic achievement and the strive for educational success are encouraged.

Though there is diversity in parenting styles among countries and territories in East Asian culture, these fundamental principles and values are common and play a crucial role in shaping the personality and social life of people in this region.

How do parents usually raise their children?

In some cultures, traditional parenting methods include corporal punishment, harsh discipline, and scolding. These practices can lead to either positive or negative outcomes, heavily dependent on how and how often they are used. However, this approach is increasingly discouraged in many cultures and modern parenting movements. Here are some points to consider:

  1. Negative consequences: The use of corporal punishment, harsh discipline, and scolding can often lead to negative psychological and emotional consequences for children. These consequences may include feelings of hurt, fear, increased stress, and the creation of negative behavior patterns.
  2. Behavior modeling: Children often learn by observing and mimicking the behavior of adults. If parents use physical punishment or scolding, it may lead to children learning to resolve conflicts through violence or negative language.
  3. Ineffective conflict resolution: Using physical punishment and scolding often does not help children understand why their behavior is being criticized and does not positively change behavior. Instead, it can create tension and inefficiency in resolving family conflicts.
  4. Modern parenting methods: In recent years, there has been a shift towards more positive parenting methods, such as using constructive discipline, effective communication, and encouraging positive behavior. These methods often provide a better environment for children’s development and offer opportunities for children to accumulate a wealth of knowledge.

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In this article, KabAstro will guide you through a proper method of raising children from the root (The Way), applicable to all families, societies, and countries.

Parenting Methods from KabAstro Philosophy

Many sources say that a family is a collection of people with “karmic debts” to each other, meaning obligations of gratitude and vengeance, and settling of love and karma. However, according to KabAstro philosophy, the present is what matters most. The present is the true happiness (read Peaceful Way to understand this concept).

The birth of a child in a family can be viewed from various perspectives, including spiritual and philosophical viewpoints. Below are some explanations that can be applied:

  • Spirituality: From a spiritual perspective, a child can be seen as a union of spiritual elements and karmic connections. According to this view, a soul might choose to enter a specific family to learn, experience, and grow in the earthly life. This family could provide the environment and opportunities for that soul to fulfill its spiritual goals.
  • Philosophy and Mission: Some philosophers and thinkers believe that each person has a mission in life, and being born into a specific family might be related to that mission. The child might bring a specific meaning, goal, or task to accomplish in this life, and the family is where they start this journey.
  • Family Relationships and Emotions: Another perspective sees the child as a result of the unique love and relationship between the parents. The child may be born into the family to further enrich love and meaning within the family relationship and to create a strong bond between the parents.
  • Randomness and Nature: There’s a view that the birth of a child in a family might be a random and natural part of the reproductive process and evolution. According to this perspective, there’s no special spiritual connection or karmic bond, and the presence of a child in the family is the result of natural laws.

The specific explanation can vary depending on individual perspectives and beliefs. The most important thing is the care and love for the child, regardless of the reason for the child’s birth, helping them grow and find happiness in life.

Raising children is not as complicated as people think:

  1. First, you must spend time with your child and be there for them. If you can’t do that, then everything that follows is pointless; this is a necessary condition.
  2. Teaching your child means teaching yourself; you set the example for them to follow. If you want your child to say sorry, you must say it first. This is a sufficient condition, however, it needs to be clarified, what do parents need to teach themselves in order to best teach their child?

Benevolence, Righteousness, Propriety, Wisdom, Faithfulness

Benevolence, Righteousness, Propriety, Wisdom, and Faithfulness are the fundamental principles in traditional Vietnamese culture, often referred to collectively as the Five Virtues. These are crucial values and principles that guide parenting and the formation of a person’s character in Vietnamese society. Here is a detailed description of each principle and how they can be applied in parenting:

  • Benevolence (Humaneness): Benevolence involves respecting human value, including respecting and caring for the emotions, opinions, and freedoms of each individual. In parenting, this requires parents and teachers to build a respectful environment for their children, listen to their opinions, and encourage their independent development.
  • Righteousness (Justice): Righteousness encompasses love, affection, and familial and societal responsibilities. Parents and teachers should educate children about family love, friendship, and responsibilities towards others. They should encourage children to express gratitude and help others.
  • Propriety (Etiquette): Propriety involves respecting and adhering to the rules and laws of society. In parenting, parents and teachers should teach about respect and adherence to social norms, including respecting others, unity, and following the law.
  • Wisdom (Intellect): Wisdom encourages the development of knowledge and skills. Parents and teachers should foster curiosity, learning, and the intellectual development of children. They should promote their engagement in learning and developing their capabilities.
  • Faithfulness (Faith): Faithfulness involves respecting and adhering to spiritual and religious values. In parenting, parents should respect and encourage the spiritual development of their children, including participation in religious activities or learning about spiritual values.

These principles help to build a moral foundation and character for children, helping them to grow into ethical, intelligent, and respectful individuals in society. However, the application of these principles can vary depending on the family and societal context and education.

By embracing the principles of benevolence, righteousness, propriety, wisdom, and faithfulness, parents can guide their children towards becoming ethical, intelligent, and respectful individuals. KabAstro invites you to reflect on these traditional values as a pathway to nurturing the next generation.

Principle: 4 words of kindness

  • Hello/Hi – The Power of Words Greetings: Greetings are commonly used when meeting someone or when starting a conversation or meeting. Greetings help create a friendly and polite environment. Examples include: “Hello!”, “Good morning!”, “Hi!”, “Hello sir/ma’am/you!”
  • Apologies: Apologies are used when you realize you have made a mistake or caused inconvenience to someone and want to express regret and apologize. Examples: “I am sorry for what I did,” “I deeply regret that,” “Sorry for bothering you.”
  • Thank Yous: Thank yous are used when you want to express gratitude and respect to someone who has helped you or pleased you in some way. Examples: “Thank you for your help,” “I am very grateful for that,” “Thanks for your support.”
  • Permissions: Permissions are used when you want to ask for someone else’s permission or agreement before doing something. Examples: “May I talk to you for a moment?”, “Can I borrow this?”, “Do you mind if I arrive a bit late?” These words help create a positive, polite communication and interaction environment and avoid unnecessary conflicts in daily life.

These are the four expressions that parents need to deeply understand, to teach themselves, so they can speak and act accordingly. Remember, it’s about modeling the behavior, not forcing the child to do it. When parents successfully implement this Principle of Four Expressions, children will do even better than their parents.

Filial Piety

Filial Piety Explained: In Eastern cultures, ‘filial piety’ refers to gratitude and respect towards one’s parents and ancestors, embodying one of the region’s most esteemed virtues.

Filial piety is typically expressed through respecting and caring for parents, showing concern for their life and emotions, and adhering to family rules and traditions. It is also demonstrated through actions such as providing for parents in their old age, performing useful tasks within the family, and respecting family rituals and festivals.

‘Filial piety’ is also expressed by honoring ancestors and participating in religious activities or ceremonies to remember and honor them. It is a vital value in building and maintaining strong family relationships and plays a significant role in East Asian society.

According to KabAstro, the foundation of a person’s spiritual life (understanding what spirituality is) begins with filial piety (learn more about what filial piety is).

Parenting Method written by KabAstro